The Most Important Job I'll Ever Have: The Parent I Hope to Be

*sighs* I adore these two.

Recently, while perusing my often unenlightening Facebook account, I was elated to come across an amazing statement by one my favorite people ever: Jada Pinkett Smith. Her statement was in reference to "letting" Willow cut her hair:  

“This subject is old but I have never answered it in its entirety.And even with this post it will remain incomplete. The question why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women, girls are constantly reminded that they don’t belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body,spirit and her mind are HER domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It’s also a statement that claims that even little girls have the RIGHT to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother’s deepest insecurities, hopes and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be.”

As many of you may have heard, the Smiths areoften criticized and questioned about the methods they use in parenting theirchildren, and while many will argue their parenting style may be a bitunorthodox, I don't think their methods are unorthodox at all. 

After reading her response, I immediately began thinking about how important it is not only for our little girls, but for our little boys to know where their worth lies and where it most certainly does not. I also began to think about my childhood and some of my own freedoms I had while growing up and how thankful I am to my parents for allowing me to have them. By no stretch of the imagination were we rich or privileged by any means,but my parents made sure that I was exposed to so many things (people, ideas,experiences, etc.) - which ultimately played a major role in how I developed and how I now see and process the world.

Like the Smiths (and my parents), I hope to expose my children to everything. I want to be their first source of validation; ingraining this into their minds from the time that they are old enough to comprehend that they alone are enough. I want them to know their worth and have the freedom to express themselves and even in that, be able to stand by and live with whatever decisions they make in any area of their lives. It is my sincere prayer to raise children who are aware by creating a household where the search and acquisition of knowledge is not only encouraged, but also required. As a mother, I hope to have the courage that Jada (yes, I really believe it takes courage) has to truly embrace the idea and practice of allowing my children the freedom to find themselves and be the people they were meant to be; not what society suggests for them.

Nakia D.