Me? Angry?! (an excerpt from: ‘The Diary of the Misadventures of a YBP: When Blanking is Enuff’)

*Author’s Note*
Janae is to thank for the ridiculously wonderful (and long) addition to my title. Yaaas. Ashe.

Today, on my initial post for CCB, want to speak to my fellow YBPs (Young Black Professionals – Yes, I made that up. Yes I'm aware of how not catchy it is. Let me cook.) about an issue that many of us will, if we haven't already, encounter as we become budding professionals in each of our respective disciplines.

We've all been there; recent grad, elated to have landed your first gig in your field of study. Everything is wonderful until 'it' happens: Your first professional conflict and you're faced with the challenge (and stigma) of being seen as 'The Angry Black Co-Worker'

'It' (finally) happened to me.

On a seemingly normal day, I went to work with the intention and expectation of…well…working. I prepared for my day as I normally do, arrived and exchanged pleasantries with everyone, as usual, and began to work.

Then this exchange took place:

Raheem:
(in such a nonchalant, as-a-matter-of-fact manner)

“Jack and Amy (white people) told me how you blanked on them this morning…You might want to chill…You don't want to be known as the 'Angry Black Chick' “

Me: (completely caught off guard) “Pause. Wait, Negro say what?!”

Then Raheem repeats what he said and continued on to another subject as if none of what he'd just said to me was an issue.

I stopped him. I had to.

First, I was taken aback by the comment that I 'blanked'

Blanked?! At work?!

*holds up 'C'Mon Son!!!' sign*

I'd never give someone the satisfaction of taking me out of my happy place at work. Hmph.

Second, - Wait, so the event in question was a conflict? Now this is news to me, because all I did was simply report an issue and suggest what we (and by 'we' I mean ALL of us employees could do to prevent further possible job-costing mishaps like the one we (and by 'we', I mean 'me') had to fix.

Third, since when did me being assertive make me angry? If Raheem were there, he would have seen the (so not angry) exchange and said/thought otherwise.

Folks, I work for an intense, and at times, very stressful, broadcasting company. That means in order to make it in that type of environment, you have got to have a tough skin and not take anything personally. At the end of the day, no one wants to be the one to blame when we have an issue as important as the one I addressed with my two co-workers.

Listen, Content doesn't air correctly--->We draw unemployment checks---> Sallie Mae doesn't get paid---> Applications get sent to Onyx, Magic City, The Pyramid---> Things get unreasonably real. I don't want to imagine.

Anywho, back to the issue at hand...

Why is ok for our Caucasian counterparts to be competitive, assertive, and demanding, even, in the workplace but when we are, our approach is somehow problematic? What do you do? Happily conform? Make them (yes, 'them') feel comfortable by not showing concern/voicing your opinion?

*sighs*

What gives?

Funny how college prepares us for everything but how to deal.

So, people of CCB (this acronym is perfect, btw.), Have you ever been in the 'Let me turn myself down so that I don't intimidate anyone (and by 'anyone' I mean ‘yt’ people)' situation? How did it make you feel? Do you feel pressure in the workplace because of the double standards that we still must face? Speak on it!

-Nakia D.
The (not so) Angry Black Chick.